Observer and... actor

Finding and keeping our balance
We have the inner ability to observe or to become involved with others whenever we want. We balance between our roles as observers and as participants. We play our role either in the audience or as actors on the field of action.
Very often we are so drawn by the roles of others that we are sucked into their emotional dramas. We get so caught up in the 'play' that we loose the valuable distance. 

It is at this point that the creation of our life slips out of our hands... this habit exhausts us by wasting valuable spiritual energy... how do we know this? Let me be introspective... I have a loss of concentration and control of my thoughts. I am disconnected from my inner peace, I forget my true nature and I make mistakes. Then we search again to reach this inner state of truth, because nothing true is ever lost...

Stability amidst turmoil

We often use the words 'difficult' or 'turmoil' for situations that happen 'out there'. How objective is this judgment? Two persons may be facing the same situation and the one feels that 'nothing's new' while the other feels that it is very negative... So is the situation negative or are we negative...?

Situation
When we face negative situations our mind is the first to get influenced. The screen of our mind is getting filled with question marks and chaotic thoughts and soon we feel unstable... We cannot control our inner energy and thus it becomes destructive: thoughts and feelings, our invaluable inner resources are being wasted without our realizing...
Happiness seems so far away...
...because of this inner turmoil we forget that the reins still remain in our hands and that we can still transform our inner state. So we miss the chance and negativity overpowers us...  

The self, unplugged...

Situation
We tend to focus on what is negative in order to improve a situation; we get so concerned about someone's negative characteristics or the obstacles of a situation. Our thoughts are coloured by our concerns. Thus all of our spiritual and finally our physical resources go wasted...

While it is easy to investigate and talk about what other people should do to change themselves and their behaviour, it is also important to see what one can do to bring about a change in oneself.

What to look for in oneself?
We need to have the pure desire to keep changing ourselves. With this awareness, effort is put in continuously to change old unwanted patterns of behaviour by consciously replacing them with true values. 

Values are related to each other as if they were members of a great family. For the one who is committed to one value is the one who is able to emerge the other connected values. Such a person is able to add quality to everything he does and speaks.

When I am introverted I am able to recognise my own special value and use it with commitment in my daily life, I am able to experience success in all I do. This is because I have the commitment of giving my best and of having added quality to everything I do; and... here comes contentment!

The mythology of love

Situation

Sometimes we do find ourselves in situations where others are not responding to the love we are giving. Our feelings seem to hit a rock or a wall and don't bounce back as respect and understanding.

Having the habit of 'give and take' deep instilled in our consciousness, the absence of any feedback leaves us insecure and ... we decide to go to other side of complaining and blaming; the side of instant or long-term hate: "Am I not worth it?..." "you are supposed to..." "you had to..." "I have the right..." "you show no respect...  you have become a bit senseless these days..."

True respect and true love are both very elevated states of consciousness and cannot be achieved in any external way. It is impossible to pursue or inspire someone's respect even if this someone is your self... you may achieve it but it won't last for long. On the other hand a high state of consciousness is not something out of reach... this is our eternal right and not the forced respect from others.

We need to experience a shift of consciousness inside our selves first if we want to see it around us.

The habit of fear

In our way to completeness, we sometimes live with fear which sometimes may be obvious and other times it remains well hidden behind innocent and quite logical expressions… words that repeat, such as: 'right' 'unfair' 'all' 'them' 'noone' 'honestly' 'always' 'never' 'realistically', are used when we want to avoid our responsibility, so we say something while we mean and feel something else.

The expressions that follow may be appropriate, true and fair enough when we are using them with honesty, but our fear-based motives hide many times what we really mean.

Fortunately for us and for the others around us, life is destined to uncover and expose our fears in a very natural way…life is destined to expose them to the light.

Type of Fears and the Expressions we use

Fear of the unknown

"let's be sensible... many things can happen… look what happened to Michael..." "...it takes time" ....."we must plan everything well  and be very thorough... otherwise everything will  just be up in the air...", "I don't function that way"

Fear of solitude

"we all need someone...", "I can't leave her, we've been through so many things...",
"a relationship is something that is alive, every real relationship has some tension; it's normal; let us be realistic"
Thus we sustain relationships based on fear of losing and we end up filling ourselves with possessiveness, codependency and finally with sorrow...:
"...which is something normal and it sometimes makes things interesting..." we admit many times to our friends...

Fear of 'others' or of cooperation with others

"they are not fond of me; I'm sure... you should see how they were looking at me the other day..."
"it's always more effective to cooperate with one person, maximum..." "I'm more effective when I'm on my own..."

getting impressed... getting depressed

Getting impressed. Is it beneficial?

If we want to sustain our self-respect then our intellect needs our special care. The intellect is such a sensitive filter of the soul, that emotions can blind it. When  the intellect(often referred to as the third eye),  is blinded we start over-estimating or under-estimating others or situations: see illusion.

And if words seem to impress us easily then it's words that will hurt us very easily...

}Whatever impresses or depresses us, influences  and even moulds our awareness at that moment. We lose the invaluable ability to create our own thoughts and feelings and these are influenced by the impression that we have allowed the other person to leave on the sensitive film of our heart.

Sometimes the impression or depression is such that we completely give ourselves over to it. We give up our power to others, and we allow them to dominate our emotional world; we become emotional hostages.  The results of allowing oneself to be impressed are varied and on different levels.

Examples

For example, when we are impressed by the other's position; it is fine to respect the authority and the position of the other, but when we allow their position to impress us, our ability to relate to the person in a subtle way is blocked. This can make it difficult for us to be an authority in our own life… it's easy to understand that disappointment would naturally follow

Another example is when we are impressed by the achievements of the other and put them on a pedestal… so that they become unreachable. We compare ourselves to him or her and have weak thoughts of ourselves, such as  we are not as good or effective as them, or we might feel jealousy or guilt. All of this acts as an obstacle on the path towards our own achievement.

Creative stress (?)

The Mythology of Stress (cont.)

There are some myths about stress that hide the real inner work that has to be done:

Myth ΙΙ:
"Small quantities of stress have been proved beneficial because they boost our creativity "

Truth: At present stress (fear of failure) and other emotions have coloured the soul to such an extent that we have forgotten how it is to feel our natural feelings. While intoxication or alertness by chemical means are in fact desensitization (alcohol, nicotine, drugs) and toxic shock (caffeine), they have entered our culture as bliss and refreshment in the same way that fear and worry have become motivation for creativity and interrest.   

}It is a illusion that stress, or putting pressure on people, is necessary to get things done. Why?

Because when fear (emotional pain) is invoked and used as a motivator, it always results in a drainage of emotional and spiritual energy, which eventually can lead to physical disease.