The more control we have over ourselves and our lives, the happier and freer we will feel:
Example
A simple example is when we are drinking a glass of water: we move our hands, we turn on the tap, we fill up the glass, we direct it to our mouth, we drink this invaluable liquid and thus we quench our thirst. Our body 'smiles back at us'...
This is a simple example of controlling matter and being part of a game. This sense of control over matter doesn't mean exploitation rather something that is pure: interaction.
But...
...we sometimes get angry with situations or other people. Why does this happen? We have the 'logical' expectation that all of our thoughts, desires and directions should manifest in this game of interaction around us... for many reasons though, this is not always possible especially when it concerns other people too... and even if it is possible it doesn't last...
Sometimes, the simple expectation that a person should behave as we want them to is in itself an attempt to control them. When we try to control another person, which is impossible, we are bound to fail, feel frustrated and stressed. Thus, we lose spiritual energy and feel exhausted which comes back as anger towards those we try to control or other people that are 'easier' for us...This is the magic moment in which I can ask myself: "What kind of control do I truly need in order for me to be really happy?" We are capable of having power over ourselves; we can be more responsible for our thoughts and feelings. We have the capacity to choose the quality of our response to different situations and people that we come across in our lives, whatever the outcome.
If we do not exercise much control over our thoughts and emotions, we easily fall into the tendency of seeing ourselves as victimized, and we blame others, making them responsible in our own minds for how we feel. When we do this, we are forgetting that we are the creators of our own thoughts. When this happens, we are handing over the control of our thoughts to those who influence, criticize, attack or slander us.
If we want to recover control over our life, we must learn to control our thoughts and feelings and not blame anyone else for them. The more self-control we have over ourselves, the less will we want to control others and our capacity to influence other people positively will be greater.
By feeling victims we build walls around our heart keeping life and our 'enemies' outside... we become more and more cynical which we cover under the words 'maturing process' or becoming more 'experienced' or 'realistic'...
Exercise of Self Control
The more we turn inward for gaining control the more we will feel content and rejuvenated. In order to fulfill my need for control in a healthy way I need to have 'spiritual gymnastics': mind and heart exercises by practicing meditation.
By being a systematic spiritual effort maker I can empower my mind and my heart and thus I gain trust for myself and my life. During meditation I create simple thoughts and emerge feelings which replenish me and empower the circulation of spiritual energy within me. I will need less and less to impose my will on others or try to ‘control situations’ externally - on the contrary, I will have more power to affect others positively.
It's a matter of power, and for power we need healthy 'spiritual nutrition' and systematic exercise...
